This is as ironic as it gets. Just last night, I watched the latest Netflix film called Darlings and look how reel imitates real life.
This film about domestic violence & abuse against married women, shows how the mother-daughter duo of Badru and her mom, played by Alia Bhatt and Shefali Shah, respectively, take matters in their own hands, against Badru’s alcoholic and tempramental husband Hamza, played by Vijay Varma.
This film dropped yesterday and around the same time, in a parallel universe, a social media campaign was gaining momentum. But this was for real. Hashtag Justice for Mandeep is trending because this Indian woman in the US has just lost her life, to the exact same issue – abject domestic voilence, abuse and bloody beatings, by her own husband. An inhumane torture that she endured for 8 long years
Yes, a 30-year-old Sikh woman allegedly committed suicide at her Richmond-based residence in New York, on Wednesday 3rd August, accusing her husband of domestic violence and also calling out his parents for being responsible for her plight.
While most reports say that the New York police are treating this as a suicide, an Instagram page dedicated to the case called @TheKaurMovement says that the NYPD is investigating the case as a homicide and not as suicide.
But whether it is a suicide or homicide, the reason for Mandeep’s death is clear. Just 2 das back, she had shared a video, where she is cryig and saying that she cannot tolerate any more violence at the hands of her husband Ran-jodh-beer Singh Sandhu and has decided to commit suicide.
In the nearly-five-minute video, Mandeep is heard saying, I have decided to end my life today. She says she tried her best, but cannot tolerate the daily beatings now. She is heard saying, “For eight years, I have been undergoing daily beatings and accepting his bad behaviour in a hope that he will mend his ways one day”.
She further says, “I didn’t want to leave my two daughters behind but now I cannot tolerate this torture anymore and am taking this extreme step”. IN more shocking revelations she even says that her husband had once held her hostage for five days and kept beating her up throughout.
Mandeep also alleged that her husband had several extramarital affairs over the years. She even accused her mother-in-law of verbally abusing her family and prompting her son to torture her.
You would be wondering why did no one do anything about Mandeep’s dire situation.
Well, her father had gotten Ranjodh-beer booked in a case once. But much like the film Darlings, he pleaded and emotionally manipulated his wife and eventually got off.
Several videos of Sandhu hitting and torturing her — mostly CCTV footage from their home — were shared on social media. In one such video, the man is seen assaulting and trying to strangle her as their daughters are heard crying and asking him not to hit their mother. In another such video, her husband is heard verbally abusing her and saying he wanted a son, and not daughters.
Both Mandeep and her husband are from Bijnor in Uttar Pradesh. They got married 8 years back and their 2 daughters are now four and six years old. Mandeep’s family is seeking their custody. Ranjhodbeer lives in the US now but he had earlier been deported from New Zealand. He worked in Miami for some time before starting his transport business in New York.
The Sikh community and locals are now trying all they can to help bring Mandeep’s body back to India and pushing for justice for her. A strong campaign on twitter and other social media platforms is currently on to bring Mandeep’s husband and his family to justice.
Wish similar efforts were made earlier and if Mandeep and her family would have done whatever it takes to put an end to the torture that was being inflicted upon her for years.
This begs not one but many questions – why do women put up with such sustained voilence and abuse by their husbands and his family? Is it because of the love for the man they married and/or the children? Is it because of social stigma or is it because of the fear of being left alone? Or is it the hope that some day, things will get better. Or sadly, is it the hopelessness that makes them resign to fate and feel that this is their life now.
But as these questions linger on their mind, it only bolsters their tormentor to inflict more pain on them.
This story is about a woman, who hailed from a small village in Uttar Pradesh but was settled in the US. Clearly, her progress from a small town to a bustling international metropolis hadn’t helped. She continued to suffer and her pleas for help on social media proved futile too. Who all are then responsible for her death?
Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.
Friends, a troubled mindset is a disaster waiting to happen and extreme thoughts are a reality. And we all experience them. While some overcome them and move on, some end up acting upon them. If you or anyone you think needs help then it’s just a phone call away. We are leaving some helpline numbers in the descripton.
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Thank you so much for watching this video. Please take of yourself and those around you. Jai Hind.
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